Sachin Speaks: Applying cricketing wisdom to 10 political Issues ~ Cricket Bakchod

CricketBakchods(CB) finally caught hold of Sachin inside the Parliament restroom and he couldn't say no to us (We all know about the legendary male bonding inside a restroom). Here goes his exclusive message on politics and politicians for our super exclusive news bulletin CB-Live.

Over to SRT:

CB wonders if SRT is visiting Viru's hair therapist?

Here is my message for UPA and friends:
1. Depending on Mamta Banerjee is a bit like depending on Ashish Nehra. At crunch moments, they both tend to forget whether they are in your team or the opposition.

2. Kapil Sibbal's zero sum Mathematics makes as much sense as the Duckworth Lewis system.

3. Still on Kapil Sibbal. Expecting him to do justice to both HRD and Telecomm ministry is like expecting your wicket keeper to also bowl 8 overs in a one day game.

4. Manmohan Singh is well, your Sachin Tendulkar. He is your star performer. You make him the captain and you loose one of your biggest assets.

5. And finally, you never take a club cricketer and make him the test captain. Rahul Gandhi should do a lot more than his half yearly rounds of Amethi before he can be your Prime Minister.

And now my message to NDA and friends:
1. Narendra Modi is going the Saurav Ganguly way, you either make him the captain or he is going to take the team down with him.

2. Expecting Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev to get you back to power in 2014 is like expecting your coach to make a hundred in an important final.

3. Don't bank on Narendra Modi to win you 2014 elections single handedly. RCB made the same mistake in IPL by banking totally on Chris Gayle. To win, your whole team should be organized.

4. Expecting Advani to retire is a bit like expecting me to retire. He is your only leader with nationwide appeal. He may not be your next captain but he is still your best batsman. Play him at number 3 on tricky pitches.

5. Nitish Kumar is your rising star but he is still playing Ranji Trophy in Bihar. He can win you the whole of North India if you get him in the national Team. He should be your captain/vice captain and opener.

And finally my only message to everyone else, "Scratch where it itches, I always do."

CB:
Wow. we did it. In your face all you news channels.... Signing off. dekhte rahiye CB-Live.

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com