War. Friendship. Cricket.

Put the kids to sleep. This is serious sport!

The mother of all sporting rivalry is India Vs Pakistan in cricket. If it's taking place in a World Cup then it simply doesn't get bigger than this in sport. Oh okay I already hear voices of dissent from some elite sports watchers. One at a time kids!

Yes, Federer vs Nadal is a nice little rivalry, but it won't be there 5 years from now. India vs Pakistan is for the ages, it will be there forever or at least until one of our scientists accidentally blows away our nuclear warhead in our own territory.

And Fuck No you stupid white american kid. Yankees vs RedSox is no sporting battle. Baseball anyhow is a dwarf in front of the great game of cricket. The rivalry is as intense as two Indian school girls fighting over who is "cuutteer"(sic), SRK or Hrithik.

And Yes German brother, I have to agree with you since you look tall and strong. Eng vs Germany in football is some battle. There is history. There is hatred. The two countries have been at war. Brilliant to watch. But hey, now the two countries are friends in Eurozone. Also white men can't hate each other like us brown men can (yes I have stolen it from a Russel Peters joke). They will see each other in a bar and talk about white folk stuff and have a drink, may be abuse each others sports team and laugh and walk away. We hate people from different state much more than you white folks from different countries hate each other.

Okay enough dissent already. Time to talk. India and Pakistan have fought real wars and are almost perennially in a warlike situation, not just during the show they put up at Wagha border but in real battlefields as well. During the matches, firing across the border is often reported. People die of heart attack during every game. I can go on and on. "Cricket Diplomacy"!! Is any sport rivalry so big that it's actually used as a diplomatic machinery?

Every cricket fan has memories about India Pakistan matches. Sweet memories of Sachin smashing Akhtar for a six over thirdman. bitter memories of Miandad hitting Chetan Sharma for a six of the last ball. And some bittersweet memories of Pakistan beating India in that Chennai test by 17 runs, and then getting a standing ovation from the "knowledgeable" Chepauk crowd (Frankly I hated the crowd at that moment for standing up to these guys who have just beaten us, but now its a cherished memory).

My first memory of India Pakistan battle is not even a cricket match. I think I was some four five year old when a kid on the street taught me a song. "Aao bachhon tumhein dikhaayein jhaanki Hindustan ki, Kapil Dev ne chakka maara pant phati Imran ki". Yes, I am slightly embarrassed to say that I remember this. In fact I sing this in my head often. Remembering Kapil Dev, that hero of the masses. And Imran Khan, that great all rounder, a guy we feared and revered in equal quantity. But mainly people in India hated him because our women who didn't care at all about cricket, would stop for a moment to look at the tv screen just to watch him running in with his flowing hair and bare chest.

So, the night of heroes will be back soon. Cause no matter what else you do as an Indian or Pakistani cricketer, you will always be remembered for that one great feet against your rival nation. An Indian will forever remember the image of Venkatesh Prasad dismissing Aamir Sohail after a tiff in 1996 World Cup quarter final and a Pakistani may never forgive Wasim Akram for missing that match despite being genuinely injured! Hrishikesh Kanitkar could have continued playing international cricket and scored hundreds but his biggest moment would still be that 4 he hit off Saqlain at Dhakka. Or biggest of them all, that wily old street fighter Javed Miandad. Considered one of the best batsmen of all time. Scored runs everywhere against the best attacks in the world. He is still remembered for that one six he hit off a full toss bowled by someone like Chetan Sharma. Such is the nature of this rivalry!

On 30th September, form wouldn't matter as much as the nerves. There would be one man of the match but there could be one hero for life or as in Misbah's case a villian forever. Bring on the Super Sporting Sunday!

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com 

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The Sachin Conundrum

When is a good time to talk about Sachin Tendulkar? Any time in the last 23 years. So lets talk Sachin.

I can already hear the voices in your head. Another puny blogger trying to write the customary "Sachin: The God of cricket" tribute piece, trying to show that he has arrived? Or trying to sell himself as a thinking writer by picturing him as the root all evil, as a symbol of consumerist India? If I can express myself well enough though  then this blog should not fall into either category, and no I am not trying to be a smart ass by saying I will try to take the middle path, show the bigger picture. This is just an attempt to look back at the Sachin I have known through the years. It has been a long marriage which has lasted 23 years and still going strong. It has seen some awesome and some rough times <insert roller coaster ride cliché>. There was the honeymoon period when the young Sachin arrived. A look at him and you knew this was a virgin. He gave us batting orgasms every time he walked in. Every other country looked at him with wishful eyes, hoping he was their own and you would feel proud everytime just to think he can never be their's. Truly world's envy, India's pride. In the word's of Kung Fu Panda, "Never before in the history of Kung Fu a man was so loved, and so feared".

So often when we are talking about Sachin, we are not really talking about Sachin the human. No, not Sachin the God either. A critique on Sachin is essentially a critique on the Sachin phenomenon. I am conscious of this fact while writing this, and normally a criticism of Sachin here will be a criticism of Sachin the phenomenon and not Sachin the person.

A Hero is born.

The time is late 90s. India is coming off age. Well at least the middle class is. We have satellite TV channels beaming 24 hour entertainment to millions. And there is a desperate need for a hero. But who can this hero be? For batman fans, "A hero we don't deserve yet, but need desperately". Although we definitely are on the rise as a nation, we are hardly standing on our feet yet. We are not the best at anything. Except - We have the best batsman in the world. There shouldn't be any doubt about this. He is the best batsman ever, period. Anyone trying to argue on that doesn't know shit about batting and cricket. Even Don Bradman agrees that Sachin is the only batsman who plays like him. Thousands of newspaper pages are dedicated to singing his praise, hours and hours of television programming to celebrate his greatness. All of this Sachin totally deserved. A middle class boy from Mumbai with immense talent but who has also worked extremely hard to reach where he is. Sunil Gavaskar could have been that hero too, but he played at a time when the junta were more worried about Roti, Kapda, Makaan than sporting icons. Sachin arrived just at the perfect time. At the fag end of the milleniom the news media is now learning to delve into borderline absurd. I can't recall how many times the news channels repeated the line about Sachin coming in Shane Warne's dream. Yes, Warne had said this just in a manner of speaking while giving an interview and he later clarified that it wasn't as if Sachin was actually giving him nightmares. But our news channels picked it up verbatim and repeated it a zillion times till it became permanent in the brain of every Indian cricket fan.

The moment of truth.

The time is early 2000s. Sachin is the only person in the country who is beyond questioning in media. You can criticize beliefs, practices, leaders, businessmen, sportsman, anyone you want, but criticizing Sachin is committing hare-kiri for a news channel. That seems fair too. Sachin has been the best cricketer in the world for a long time and he seems totally immune to any corrupt influences that may him sway him into anything controversial. Some one took a plunge then it seems. I don't know when it began. But a guess would be the Ferrari car incidence. He may have been criticized before, but that was the first time I saw the collective voice of many news channels speaking against Sachin. It was totally and utterly absurd. Heck I even saw Sachin effigies burnt on news channel. Some people rallying on the road with a katora to collect money for Sachin to pay the customs duty, yes a hindi news channel showed this on TV. The Fiat people came in and paid the customs to stop things from getting ugly. But the dam was already broken. One of India's first Peepli Live was played on news channels for days. The media had realized that a criticism of Sachin can work too, probably work even better than unending praise which the people were bored of anyhow.

The Present.

Yes that's a long jump in the timeline, but I know you don't have the patience for a history lesson and there is not a thing about the Sachin story that you the reader of even this obscure cricket blog don't know yet. Sachin has dominated the game for 20 years. No sportsman, heck no individual has been at the top of his business consistently for so long. Even Steve Jobs had a nearly bankrupt Apple and a failed Next on his way. Many greats rise and fall. Sachin the batsman could only rise. Breaking records for him has become absurd now. I dearly wish the media could stop harping about some of the pseudo records that Sachin has made and is on the verge of making. But how can they, even now a piece on Sachin sells better than most other things. Apart from praising Sachin, people now openly criticize him as well. A middle class which mostly celebrates capitalism and corporate greed has been accusing Sachin of being selfish. The fans and devotees will still call it just Sachin's hunger. Well it may be hunger or greed, but is it really Sachin's fault? Haven't we all collectively pushed him to be this hungry? Most fans want him to score a hundred even if India loses. There are brands whose quarterly results may be a function of how many hundreds Sachin is scoring. 

So, is Sachin bigger than cricket then in this country? You Bet. Our chief selector openly declared that this man can play ODIs for as long as he wants while at the same time easily suggesting Laxman to walk away from test cricket. A man who dares to drop Sachin from the team would need Z+ security the very next day. Of course Sachin can choose when he wants to retire. He can also choose which series he wants to play and what number he wants to bat. Always No. 1 in ODIs and No. 4 in tests irrespective of any calamities that may happen. Is it justified? Probably is. He just wants to stand up and be counted for as long as possible and you can't blame him for that. It's not his job to walk away from something he loves so much and something that has given him greatness and immortality. We have all helped creating the legend. He is and he will be the Sachin Tendulkar. Just continue to bow down and watch until some day when he decides to give you a final bow and bids a final Good Bye. Will he do it as he nears 40? Did the Mayans predict anything for 2012? I hope not...

Any piece on Sachin may get a reaction from the Internet Sachin Militia. If you hate this, kindly refrain from trying to hunt and kill the writer or destroy the server on which this page is hosted. The thoughts are solely of the author and cricketbakchod.com doesn't subscribe to them in part or in total. Any hate messages can be left as comments or sent to rajesh@cricketbakchod.com

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Spin it like Saqlain

When Cricket Gods and gentlemen designed this game, they had an image in mind. Of men in white looking almost saintly on a friendly green outfield. Of slow bowlers gently landing it on a half volley and the batsman gently stroking it along the ground through covers followed by applause from all the fielders. Slow bowling is a central element in cricket's artistry although this picture is a far cry from what we see in the test matches these days (lets not even bring T20 cricket into a discussion like this).

I was laboring through the highlights of the just concluded Sri Lanka vs Pakistan test series. For a series played out in the sub-continent between two sub-continent giants, spin bowling on display was paltry to say the least. But such is the state of spin bowling throughout the world. Other than Graeme Swann, currently we don't have any genuine test match standard spin bowler. Swann has been incredibly consistent in the 4th innings and is one of the main reasons why England are the top side in the world now. Ironically, he is the only good old fashioned spinner in this era of mystery bowlers. These days if you want your kid to succeed as a spin bowler you better beat his wrist to a pulp so that it can rotate at any axis and permanently deform his elbow so that it always stay bent. Now teach him to pitch the bowl on a length and give him a crash course on law so that he can debate effectively on defending his bowling action

Swann. Leading Spinner. Leading Tweeter. Leading Sprinkler

Anyhow, this post is meant to be a celebration of spin bowling and especially that golden era of 90s when I started following cricket. Warne, Kumble and Murali having taken more than 2000 test wickets between them (woot!!) are the obvious torch bearers of spin bowling from glorious 90s. However, my favorite from the decade was Saqlain Mushtaq, the only modern day spin bowler who got the honor of inventing a new delivery and actually naming it. Now the Australians consider it illegal and immoral to bowl the Doosra. They even went so far as passing a resolution in their spin bowling summit few years back (attended by Warne and Terry Jenner among others) to condone the Doosra. Ashley Mallet wrote about this,

"There was unanimous agreement that the off-spinner's 'other-one', the Doosra, should not be coached in Australia," Mallett wrote in the Adelaide Review. "I have never seen anyone actually bowl the Doosra.

"It has to be a chuck. Until such time as the ICC declares that all manner of chucking is legal in the game of cricket I refuse to coach the Doosra. All at the spin summit agreed."

(Its funny that a country would be so up in arms against a delivery considered legal by the laws of the games and then expect BCCI to walk the line on a matter which is as dicey as the DRS but lets leave that for another discussion)

Now here is a challenge to the Australian spin fraternity. If they can look at this Damien Martyn dismissal and prove that Saqlain's arm bent and straightened more than Brett Lee's arm in every fucking delivery he bowls, then I will pay for all the Hot Spot cameras for all the test matches in the world out of my own pocket.

Saqlain bowled a gazillion of these Doosras. Each one magical enough to potentially beat Warne's ball of the century. Only, this was a fucking off spinner turning the ball away a mile from the right hander. Oh! and Saqlain wasn't like your one dimensional mystery bowler of today, he had the most brilliant looping off break. Variation was not just limited to spin but the flight, speed and the crease. Deliveries would tantalizingly hang in the air for a while, freeze the time for an instance, then give a clueless batsman the middle finger and just spin either way on its will. For me the comparison between Saqlain and other spinners ends even before the ball is delivered. He strolled in, small baby steps, poise of a Ballerina, chose the point on crease where this ball will be delivered from, get perfectly side on and then finish the action with the most beautiful pivot. His action became coaching manual stuff for Pakistan spinners after him. Ajmal, Hafeez, Shoaib Malik all have a bit of Saqlain in their bowling actions.

Further proof of Saqlain's genius lies in the quality of batsmen he has dissected and dismissed. During the 90s Indians were more invincible against spin at home than any other time in history. Indian batting line-up had destroyed Warne's reputation making him attempt bouncers in frustration. Murali got hit out of the park with such regular ease that he once attempted bowling a few proper leg breaks (he didn't have the Doosra at that time). I was convinced that no Indian batsman can get out against spin bowling unless he absolutely chooses to. In comes the Pakistan team in 1999 led by Wasim to play what would be the best test series played in that decade (pity it was only 2 tests). The quality of bowling on display from both the teams was just amazing (but more so from Pakistan). You had Kumble taking 10 wickets in an innings; you had Wasim toying with the batsmen with his mix of fast swing and reverse swing. Saqlain did come in with a reputation of bamboozling the Indians in the one dayers, heck he could often keep Mushtaq Ahmed out of the squad, a guy who would just stroll into any test side. He outshone everyone in that series by sheer consistency and class, picking up 5 wickets in each innings of both the test matches and ending with 20 wickets in 2 matches. This came against a side which had humiliated every world class spinner who dared to visit their shores. And against top quality batsmen against spin. Forget quality, just think of 5 men you would choose to save you from a spin bowling ghost. Hmm. Laxman, Dravid, Tendulkar, Azharuddin, Ganguly. Yes read down that batting line up and they were all there and they were all dismantled piece by piece in that test series.

Spiderman recommends getting perfectly side on before
spinning a web around the batsmen

So how on earth did Saqlain end up with anything less than 300 test wickets one wonders. There are more than one theories around it. For once he was a Pakistani and had to constantly face the wrath of changing regimes and erratic selections. He prospered under the captaincy of Wasim. Spinners need an intelligent and supporting captain to nurture them, to give them the right fields and to keep reminding them that you are the best in the world. Spinners need that encouragement from their captains. That’s one big difference in spin bowler's psyche from a fast bowler's. A spinner needs to be told and reminded that he is world class. A fast bowler needs to KNOW that he is world class (not talking about Shane Warne here who is a born once in a a century freak). For a captain, spinner is his beautiful, smart, intelligent, vivacious daughter; Pacer is his handsome, confident and go-getter son. Some say Saqlain started bowling too many Doosras. A theory that I don't buy into. One of the factors which nobody talks about is the amount of county cricket he played. That might have acted as a deterrent. Here he was wielding his magic in a land where even any Asian guy wearing Saqlain's name on the back would scare the fucking daylights out of these county batsmen. Saqlain could have turned up blind folded and still end up taking a bagful of wickets. He didn't bowl against good quality batsmen for a long time and lack of challenge affected his bowling.

Some ignorant Aussies or English folks may not give him enough credit but who cares about them anyway. Cricket lives with fans. We continue the legacy, if not via history books then via story books. Saqlain could have played more international cricket. Nevertheless, a shorter career and lack of a mountain of wickets/records doesn't take anything away from a player's legacy. He gave us great highs and great memories in his rather shortish career. As Rajesh Khanna once told Amitabh Bachhan in that Hrishikesh Mukherjee classic, "Babu Moshai, zindagi lambi nahi badi honi chaahiye" (You don't need to live it long, you need to live it large)

Do leave a comment if you are a fan of Saqlain or of general spin bowling wizardry. CB loves to hear any tales Spin Kings and the memories they bring to you.

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com 

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If BCCI goes the AITA way

 In the wake of some recent tantrums thrown by Bhupati and Bopanna, two of our premiere women players, I came to realize the importance of an all powerful bunch of jokers (or the selection committee, sorry Jimmy Amarnath). Obviously in tennis it's easier for a couple of big stars to throw their weight around to get things done their way. I am using the term "star" here pretty loosely. In my book doubles tennis is like an amateur sport which no one in the world cares about. In a few days, we will see Wimbledon doubles games played on court No. 14 contested in front of 20 people (including officials). Anyhow, I digressed. These men are still stars in the country. Dating Mahima Chaudhary and marrying Lara Dutta should be proof enough of their stardom.

Thankfully, our cricketers despite being sporting Gods in the country have to abide by the selection committee which in most cases sends the best available teams. Although we still have a rich history of feuds starting from Maharaja of Vizianagaram vs Lala Amarnath, to Kapil vs Gavaskar, to Ganguly vs Dravid to the latest Sehwag vs Dhoni. Still end of the day, these grown up men generally keep their differences to the ocassional press outburst and manage to get along on the field of play. So, a cricketer with an ego of the size of Ganguly would happily make a come back to play under the Dravid/Chappel regime. It might be interesting to imagine our team selected via a general body meeting with all cricketers and selectors participating. Here is what the minutes of meeting might look like:

"Tough to keep him out Greig"

General Body Meeting for Indian Cricket Team Selection
Attended By: Selectors, Players, WAGS, Agents.
Summary of points discussed:

• Sreesanth and Munaf Patel are unanimously ruled out for selection. None of the players want to be a part of the team where these two are playing. One of the esteemed WAGs present at the meeting Miss Sheela (name modified to conceal identity) accused that her husband has started using more hindi abuses which he learned from Munaf and after making love to her, beats the ground with his hands and breaks into stupid dance routines ala Sreesanth. The selectors have accepted the plea and banned Sree and Munaf for 20 years.
• Sehwag has refused to play unless he gets a written guarantee from all the players for not making fun of his hair or the lack of it. Sehwag couldn't hide his emotions while making his plea, "Bhencho, saare endorsements ke paise uda diye baal ugaane mein. kitane doctors ke pass gaya. Ajkal to naye ads bhi nahi mil rahe hain. bolte hain pahele baal ugaao. ajkal to yeh harsha bhogle bhi mazaak udaane laga hai. This has to stop, else I can't play my natural game." The board respects Sehwag emotions and has warned the players to refrain from jibes at his baldness. Anyone found guilty will have his hair shaved off and be forced to spent 3 hours alone in a room with Sreesanth. Similar pleas were made by Nehra about his teeth and Ishant about his Adam's apple both of which were rejected. They were heard murmuring, "Yea its a batsmen's game after all".
• The other Delhi stalwart Gautam Gambhir raised his usual concern about Dhoni and the team leaving it for too late amidst loud boos and jeers. He was cut short in his speech as Dhoni's agent signed a blank cheque and put it on the desk of board's president.
• Board and all the players have unanimously agreed that Sachin Tendulkar should be allowed to move from 89 to 100 directly on taking a single. As usual, Rahul Dravid has agreed to debit the runs he has scored to ensure all of Sachin's 90s can be counted as 100s. Board president thanked Rahul for this sacrifice and assured that the whole country will be extremely grateful to him. The board will take up this matter in the next meeting with ICC. All cricket boards except ECB have already entered an MoU with the board to support whatever crap they come up with at the ICC meeting in exchange for a 9 match bi-lateral ODI series.
• Among other prominent demands from the players were: "Rule change to reward extra runs only for style and shadow practicing" from Rohit Sharma."I will bowl fast only in the match and off breaks in the nets" from Zaheer Khan, and "Ban leg stump wide rule" from Harbhajan Singh. All of these were rejected after the due voting process.

The next meeting will be held in August where the all important issue of how to maximize profits and kill test cricket will be discussed.

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com 

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Sachin Speaks: Applying cricketing wisdom to 10 political Issues

CricketBakchods(CB) finally caught hold of Sachin inside the Parliament restroom and he couldn't say no to us (We all know about the legendary male bonding inside a restroom). Here goes his exclusive message on politics and politicians for our super exclusive news bulletin CB-Live. 

Over to SRT:

CB wonders if SRT is visiting Viru's hair therapist?

Here is my message for UPA and friends:
1. Depending on Mamta Banerjee is a bit like depending on Ashish Nehra. At crunch moments, they both tend to forget whether they are in your team or the opposition.

2. Kapil Sibbal's zero sum Mathematics makes as much sense as the Duckworth Lewis system.

3. Still on Kapil Sibbal. Expecting him to do justice to both HRD and Telecomm ministry is like expecting your wicket keeper to also bowl 8 overs in a one day game.

4. Manmohan Singh is well, your Sachin Tendulkar. He is your star performer. You make him the captain and you loose one of your biggest assets.

5. And finally, you never take a club cricketer and make him the test captain. Rahul Gandhi should do a lot more than his half yearly rounds of Amethi before he can be your Prime Minister.

And now my message to NDA and friends:
1. Narendra Modi is going the Saurav Ganguly way, you either make him the captain or he is going to take the team down with him.

2. Expecting Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev to get you back to power in 2014 is like expecting your coach to make a hundred in an important final.

3. Don't bank on Narendra Modi to win you 2014 elections single handedly. RCB made the same mistake in IPL by banking totally on Chris Gayle. To win, your whole team should be organized.

4. Expecting Advani to retire is a bit like expecting me to retire. He is your only leader with nationwide appeal. He may not be your next captain but he is still your best batsman. Play him at number 3 on tricky pitches.

5. Nitish Kumar is your rising star but he is still playing Ranji Trophy in Bihar. He can win you the whole of North India if you get him in the national Team. He should be your captain/vice captain and opener.

And finally my only message to everyone else, "Scratch where it itches, I always do."

CB:
Wow. we did it. In your face all you news channels.... Signing off. dekhte rahiye CB-Live.

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com 

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Of Haters and Luck

This one might sting a few. If you are not a general hater, continue reading. If you are a hater, then you are warned before you read further. CSK were lucky to reach the playoffs – Agreed!. And they are lucky since Dhoni is lucky. And since Dhoni is lucky, you hate him. Well, I am not a huge Dhoni fan but I forgive him a hundred sins for giving me the best night of my life after winning the World Cup (4-0 loses against England and Australia in the test matches were two of those sins). But I am writing this since I generally hate the haters of any kind. So here are some quick explanations to your useless Brain farts. By the end of this, I hope you should be able to know a bit more about your worthless self.

Haters: DHONI IS JUST A LUCKY BASTARD...

CricketBakchod: Okay. This might be long.. You know what? Fuck You! And you know who else is a Lucky bastard? You are. For you were born worthless and never acquired any real skills. You somehow managed to land up a job in a company which trained you to do some shit. Despite being worthless, you can buy yourself a computer and a smartphone and an internet connection to read this blog. Yes, you are the lucky bastard for not ending up like a homeless bum which you might fully deserve to be. But lets come to the point, this is not about you. Probably, some people in sports like in life are luckier than others. But most of them still end up being a loser like you. Some, however smash 51 of 20 balls when lady luck presents a chance to them. Some of them manage to keep their head and back themselves despite going through a series of loses and setbacks. And some, walk in with the World Cup in balance and own them bitches. Yes, luck is important. But what's more important is to make it count. And Dhoni, unlike most of you has been able to make it count almost everytime.

Haters: DHONI HAS NO GRACE WHILE BATTING. DAMN! HE CAN'T EVEN HIT A COVER DRIVE...

CricketBakchod: Here is a good exercise for you. Take the MCC coaching manual, yes the one with that hard cover. And shove it up your ass. You know why? Let me explain. You get 4 runs for a graceful cover drive where you hold that pose with that nice straight bat. You also get 4 runs for that shovel which Dhoni plays with an angular bat off the front foot through the off side. "Runs on the board." Say that out loud to yourself. Yes runs on the board are what wins you game. And in case no one has told this to you yet, there is only one reason to play sport. To Win. To play fair, and win. All that matters. End of Story.

Haters: DHONI'S RISE HAS BEEN SO QUICK. HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE WHERE HE IS..

CricketBakchod: Okay, only fucktards among elitist haters will say this. I have my sympathies with you. You might be an extreme case and I will try not to abuse you (Damn! Sorry, for the first line). You suffer from a syndrome called "Fuck him, he-successful-but-me-Loser". Yes, that's a medical term. You may not know it but you only hate the rise of people who are similar to you. Those who had a very humble upbringing, and very little to no means, but could still rise above the system and somehow make it big. But you are still right there in your miserable life. As I said, my sympathies. Resident medical team of CricketBakchod highly recommends that you wank yourself at least 2 times daily to feel better about yourself.

Well, to my mind these are the most popular among the Dhoni hate rants. There may be others but I don't have the time and energy to cover them all. Haters deserve only so much of my time.

PS: This blog is written under the assumption that IPL is not scripted.

 - rajesh@cricketbakchod.com

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