This one might sting a few. If
you are not a general hater, continue reading. If you are a hater, then you are
warned before you read further. CSK were lucky to reach the playoffs – Agreed!.
And they are lucky since Dhoni is lucky. And since Dhoni is lucky, you hate
him. Well, I am not a huge Dhoni fan but I forgive him a hundred sins for
giving me the best night of my life after winning the World Cup (4-0 loses
against England and Australia in the test matches were two of those sins). But
I am writing this since I generally hate the haters of any kind. So here are
some quick explanations to your useless Brain farts. By the end of this, I hope
you should be able to know a bit more about your worthless self.
Haters: DHONI IS JUST A LUCKY
BASTARD...
CricketBakchod: Okay. This might
be long.. You know what? Fuck You! And you know who else is a Lucky bastard?
You are. For you were born worthless and never acquired any real skills. You
somehow managed to land up a job in a company which trained you to do some
shit. Despite being worthless, you can buy yourself a computer and a smartphone
and an internet connection to read this blog. Yes, you are the lucky bastard
for not ending up like a homeless bum which you might fully deserve to be. But
lets come to the point, this is not about you. Probably, some people in sports
like in life are luckier than others. But most of them still end up being a
loser like you. Some, however smash 51 of 20 balls when lady luck presents a
chance to them. Some of them manage to keep their head and back themselves
despite going through a series of loses and setbacks. And some, walk in with
the World Cup in balance and own them bitches. Yes, luck is important. But
what's more important is to make it count. And Dhoni, unlike most of you has
been able to make it count almost everytime.
Haters: DHONI HAS NO GRACE WHILE
BATTING. DAMN! HE CAN'T EVEN HIT A
COVER DRIVE...
CricketBakchod: Here is a good
exercise for you. Take the MCC coaching manual, yes the one with that hard
cover. And shove it up your ass. You know why? Let me explain. You get 4 runs
for a graceful cover drive where you hold that pose with that nice straight
bat. You also get 4 runs for that shovel which Dhoni plays with an angular bat
off the front foot through the off side. "Runs on the board." Say
that out loud to yourself. Yes runs on the board are what wins you game. And in
case no one has told this to you yet, there is only one reason to play sport.
To Win. To play fair, and win. All that matters. End of Story.
Haters: DHONI'S RISE HAS BEEN SO
QUICK. HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE WHERE HE IS..
CricketBakchod: Okay, only
fucktards among elitist haters will say this. I have my sympathies with you.
You might be an extreme case and I will try not to abuse you (Damn! Sorry, for
the first line). You suffer from a syndrome called "Fuck him,
he-successful-but-me-Loser". Yes, that's a medical term. You may not know
it but you only hate the rise of people who are similar to you. Those who had a
very humble upbringing, and very little to no means, but could still rise above
the system and somehow make it big. But you are still right there in your
miserable life. As I said, my sympathies. Resident medical team of
CricketBakchod highly recommends that you wank yourself at least 2 times daily
to feel better about yourself.
Well, to my mind these are the
most popular among the Dhoni hate rants. There may be others but I don't have
the time and energy to cover them all. Haters deserve only so much of my time.
PS: This blog is written under
the assumption that IPL is not scripted.
- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com
- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com
