July 2012 ~ Cricket Bakchod

When Cricket Gods and gentlemen designed this game, they had an image in mind. Of men in white looking almost saintly on a friendly green outfield. Of slow bowlers gently landing it on a half volley and the batsman gently stroking it along the ground through covers followed by applause from all the fielders. Slow bowling is a central element in cricket's artistry although this picture is a far cry from what we see in the test matches these days (lets not even bring T20 cricket into a discussion like this).

I was laboring through the highlights of the just concluded Sri Lanka vs Pakistan test series. For a series played out in the sub-continent between two sub-continent giants, spin bowling on display was paltry to say the least. But such is the state of spin bowling throughout the world. Other than Graeme Swann, currently we don't have any genuine test match standard spin bowler. Swann has been incredibly consistent in the 4th innings and is one of the main reasons why England are the top side in the world now. Ironically, he is the only good old fashioned spinner in this era of mystery bowlers. These days if you want your kid to succeed as a spin bowler you better beat his wrist to a pulp so that it can rotate at any axis and permanently deform his elbow so that it always stay bent. Now teach him to pitch the bowl on a length and give him a crash course on law so that he can debate effectively on defending his bowling action

Swann. Leading Spinner. Leading Tweeter. Leading Sprinkler

Anyhow, this post is meant to be a celebration of spin bowling and especially that golden era of 90s when I started following cricket. Warne, Kumble and Murali having taken more than 2000 test wickets between them (woot!!) are the obvious torch bearers of spin bowling from glorious 90s. However, my favorite from the decade was Saqlain Mushtaq, the only modern day spin bowler who got the honor of inventing a new delivery and actually naming it. Now the Australians consider it illegal and immoral to bowl the Doosra. They even went so far as passing a resolution in their spin bowling summit few years back (attended by Warne and Terry Jenner among others) to condone the Doosra. Ashley Mallet wrote about this,

"There was unanimous agreement that the off-spinner's 'other-one', the Doosra, should not be coached in Australia," Mallett wrote in the Adelaide Review. "I have never seen anyone actually bowl the Doosra.

"It has to be a chuck. Until such time as the ICC declares that all manner of chucking is legal in the game of cricket I refuse to coach the Doosra. All at the spin summit agreed."

(Its funny that a country would be so up in arms against a delivery considered legal by the laws of the games and then expect BCCI to walk the line on a matter which is as dicey as the DRS but lets leave that for another discussion)

Now here is a challenge to the Australian spin fraternity. If they can look at this Damien Martyn dismissal and prove that Saqlain's arm bent and straightened more than Brett Lee's arm in every fucking delivery he bowls, then I will pay for all the Hot Spot cameras for all the test matches in the world out of my own pocket.

Saqlain bowled a gazillion of these Doosras. Each one magical enough to potentially beat Warne's ball of the century. Only, this was a fucking off spinner turning the ball away a mile from the right hander. Oh! and Saqlain wasn't like your one dimensional mystery bowler of today, he had the most brilliant looping off break. Variation was not just limited to spin but the flight, speed and the crease. Deliveries would tantalizingly hang in the air for a while, freeze the time for an instance, then give a clueless batsman the middle finger and just spin either way on its will. For me the comparison between Saqlain and other spinners ends even before the ball is delivered. He strolled in, small baby steps, poise of a Ballerina, chose the point on crease where this ball will be delivered from, get perfectly side on and then finish the action with the most beautiful pivot. His action became coaching manual stuff for Pakistan spinners after him. Ajmal, Hafeez, Shoaib Malik all have a bit of Saqlain in their bowling actions.

Further proof of Saqlain's genius lies in the quality of batsmen he has dissected and dismissed. During the 90s Indians were more invincible against spin at home than any other time in history. Indian batting line-up had destroyed Warne's reputation making him attempt bouncers in frustration. Murali got hit out of the park with such regular ease that he once attempted bowling a few proper leg breaks (he didn't have the Doosra at that time). I was convinced that no Indian batsman can get out against spin bowling unless he absolutely chooses to. In comes the Pakistan team in 1999 led by Wasim to play what would be the best test series played in that decade (pity it was only 2 tests). The quality of bowling on display from both the teams was just amazing (but more so from Pakistan). You had Kumble taking 10 wickets in an innings; you had Wasim toying with the batsmen with his mix of fast swing and reverse swing. Saqlain did come in with a reputation of bamboozling the Indians in the one dayers, heck he could often keep Mushtaq Ahmed out of the squad, a guy who would just stroll into any test side. He outshone everyone in that series by sheer consistency and class, picking up 5 wickets in each innings of both the test matches and ending with 20 wickets in 2 matches. This came against a side which had humiliated every world class spinner who dared to visit their shores. And against top quality batsmen against spin. Forget quality, just think of 5 men you would choose to save you from a spin bowling ghost. Hmm. Laxman, Dravid, Tendulkar, Azharuddin, Ganguly. Yes read down that batting line up and they were all there and they were all dismantled piece by piece in that test series.

Spiderman recommends getting perfectly side on before
spinning a web around the batsmen

So how on earth did Saqlain end up with anything less than 300 test wickets one wonders. There are more than one theories around it. For once he was a Pakistani and had to constantly face the wrath of changing regimes and erratic selections. He prospered under the captaincy of Wasim. Spinners need an intelligent and supporting captain to nurture them, to give them the right fields and to keep reminding them that you are the best in the world. Spinners need that encouragement from their captains. That’s one big difference in spin bowler's psyche from a fast bowler's. A spinner needs to be told and reminded that he is world class. A fast bowler needs to KNOW that he is world class (not talking about Shane Warne here who is a born once in a a century freak). For a captain, spinner is his beautiful, smart, intelligent, vivacious daughter; Pacer is his handsome, confident and go-getter son. Some say Saqlain started bowling too many Doosras. A theory that I don't buy into. One of the factors which nobody talks about is the amount of county cricket he played. That might have acted as a deterrent. Here he was wielding his magic in a land where even any Asian guy wearing Saqlain's name on the back would scare the fucking daylights out of these county batsmen. Saqlain could have turned up blind folded and still end up taking a bagful of wickets. He didn't bowl against good quality batsmen for a long time and lack of challenge affected his bowling.

Some ignorant Aussies or English folks may not give him enough credit but who cares about them anyway. Cricket lives with fans. We continue the legacy, if not via history books then via story books. Saqlain could have played more international cricket. Nevertheless, a shorter career and lack of a mountain of wickets/records doesn't take anything away from a player's legacy. He gave us great highs and great memories in his rather shortish career. As Rajesh Khanna once told Amitabh Bachhan in that Hrishikesh Mukherjee classic, "Babu Moshai, zindagi lambi nahi badi honi chaahiye" (You don't need to live it long, you need to live it large)

Do leave a comment if you are a fan of Saqlain or of general spin bowling wizardry. CB loves to hear any tales Spin Kings and the memories they bring to you.

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com

The post is inspired by this brillaint piece from Sidvee

Doordarshan used to give us live Wimbledon tennis in the 90s and every kid had to choose a favorite. In the early 90s, kids my age (around 8 - 10 years) would know only 2 - 3 ladies who play tennis. Among them Monica Seles used to wear a skirt while playing and Steffi Graf used to wear shorts. It was a simple enough formula for me then, skirts > shorts implies root for Seles. Shortly after taking the decision to support her, she got stabbed by a Steffi fan and I continued to hate her for many years (until she got married to Andre). During that time I would support anyone who would challenge Steffi. So from Arantxa Sanchez to Martina Hingis, anyone who could beat Graf would be my favorite. A few years on, something happened to the women's game, first with ladies like Lindsay Davenport and Amelie Mouresmo and then the Williams sister. The finesse of the ladies game gave way to brute strength and I have lost all interest in the ladies game even till today.

In the Men's game, again the choice in early 90s was simple. Agassi with his denim shorts and flowing hair was the closest to the Bollywood heroes I used to worship then, so rooting for him came naturally. Then Sampras entered. There was something about his demeanor which captured me. By then I was slightly older (14 - 15 perhaps) and had developing my own personality. I too had started fancying myself as a calm, quiet, no-nonsense stoic (in short Deewar's Amitabh Bachhan) by then and I saw Sampras as a perfect embodiment of those values. Him breaking down in that Australian open match against Courier after someone in the crowd said, "Win it for your coach" is among my favorite moments in all of sport. Jim came up to him in all sincerity and offered to finish it the next day. Pete for whatever reason didn't like his offer and finished the game with booming aces while his eyes were filled with tears. The incident made me a lifelong Pete fan though I still liked Agassi.

When Pete's era was ending, I wasn't so sure about whom to support for some time. Safin's rage on the court, his Safinettes off the court and again probably my age and mental state at that time made him a good candidate. But then he turned out to be too erratic and refused to grow up while I had. Then Federer grabbed my attention as someone from the Martina Hingis country. After him winning the Wimbledon, it was an easy passing of the batton from Sampras to Federer which continued for some years. Until all the talk of him being the greatest player of all time started doing the rounds and for some reason it appeared to me that Federer had started thinking of himself as someone bigger than the game. They probably used to talk about Sampras also in the same way but I was too young or there wasn't any internet in those days to drive me sick of all the hype. During the same period, all the talk of Tendulkar being the greatest of all time had started drawing me away to an unassuming guy in Rahul Dravid who was consistently delivering the results. But who would be my Rahul Dravid of Tennis? Far too early in Federer's career he had started talking about the 15 grand slams landmark. His frustrations and "It's killing me" tears when he was stuck at 13 were akin to Sachin's in the recent hundred 100s hoopla where the purpose of playing every game was to get Sachin closer to that magical (and somewhat imaginary) landmark. Him putting on that shirt with the number "15" on the back after eventually getting there after beating Roddick in an epic final proved to everyone that the number meant more to him than it probably should. Federer is still the greatest exponent of his game to me just like Sachin and I love watching both Sachin and Federer in full flow to enjoy their sheer cratsmanship, their poetry in motion. Its almost as if both these men were designed by Gods to play their respective games. Anyhow, I digressed a little. Lets rewind a bit to the age when I was still searching for my Rahul Dravid of tennis. People like Roddick, Nalbandian, Hewitt had made it clear to me very early that they went into games against Federer as his fans, almost resigned to their fate of eventually losing to him. Enter Rafa. The warrior. The one who chased every ball like Hewitt but only with twice the speed. He would run half the length of court to celebrate a crucial point with a big "Vamos" cry. Tennis had not seen anything like him. Probably he was sent by Gods again just to prove to the mankind that every superman has his Kryptonite. For me Rafa is first and foremost a saviour. He saved me from an era of tennis where nothing seemed interesting as the game had stopped being competitive. Its great to look at the poetry of Federer's play but sports is not about artistry. Sports is Art meets War. You play hard, you play ugly, but you play fair and you play to win. Rafa epitomizes all of that. He like Dravid became not just my inspiration in sport, but inspiration in life. As someone who always lacked the natural talent for anything but was prepared to fight it out, these were the two individuals I look up to for inspiration when I was down.

Now the Fedtards or the Internet Sachin militia might want to have a go at me for my honest opinions above. So, in the spirit of my heroes that I just talked about, I only have this to tell you: "Bring it on".

- rajesh@cricketbakchod.com